You Think Your Life Is Crazy?
by Bungee Productions
Summary: Sadie and Carter found a talking goat? Let the mayhem begin!
1. Chapter 1

**Sadie**

 _ **I chased a talking goat. Can my life get any stranger?**_

* * *

Oh dear where the hell do I start off with this one? Well I guess by now you all know me as Sadie Kane, so I'm not going to very well introduce myself. I would also like to say that for once our friends across the river don't seem so crazy anymore.

You're probably wonder why.

Well it all started with a talking goat just popping up in the middle of Virginia right after a fight with some self absorbed asshole with a spear. Carter manage to outsmart the imbecile before things got any worse. He put him to sleep with trivia. I know! It was hilarious to watch. He has so much knowledge in that head of his he actually put someone to sleep! But I should probably get to the talking goat, yes?

Even after a few years of being around Egyptian mythology, I still get caught off guard when a bloody goat starts to talk to me. So naturally, I nearly broke my neck when I turned to see what the heck was talking to us.

"Oh looks like I won't be dinner tonight." He was rather solemn about not being eaten. I would've questioned his logic but then again, he's a bloody talking goat!

Carter seemed less bothered by the goat than I was and naturally was first to ask questions, "Um why would you be dinner?"

"Because that's my job I guess... My therapist says I need to build up some confidence to be able to get another one on the side."

I started to laugh a little."Sorry did say you have a therapist? Pfffft HA!" Carter shot me a look probably saying _Hey stop that we don't know what he's been through._  
Or something of that nature but I just found the idea of a talking goat therapist too funny. It literally took all my might not to start rolling on the April spring grass below me.

Once I stopped laughing, Carter resumed interviewing our new goat friend, "Why is being eaten by that guy your job?"

The goat studied us for a moment, "Oh." He then proceeded to run away. Normally, we wouldn't leave the guy we just fought alone to go chase a talking goat but as you could probably guess by now, we did, and without hesitation. I don't know why we were chasing after this goat, who clearly had a lot of practice at running away from things. We kept losing the bloody animal! But we did. That's the only reason I got.

After cutting corners and going through allies we finally caught up to the goat in Jamestown. He somehow managed to open up a portal through a rather small obelisk compared to ones say in D.C or London. I didn't take much time to get a good look at it but I did hear someone say the name, Jamestown Tercentennial Monument. Funny how I caught that at all considering the first thing I did was jump into the swirling portal.

If you think I was being stupid I have two things to tell you!

1\. How would you feel after you chased a talking goat across two towns without stopping? Even if was by choice there was absolutely no way I was losing that goat after all that chasing!

2\. Carter jumped in after me.

So I rest my case. We fell through the swirling portal and when we came out the other side we were about...I don't know...1000 feet off the ground! Of course gravity took hold of us and we proceeded to scream and fall to our deaths. Or we thought we would...


	2. Chapter 2

**Magnus**

 _ **I become a human pillow for two people in white pajamas.**_

* * *

You know for someone who has had their head cut off, stabbed, and let's not forget died, I would think I'd be used to pain. So when two teenagers in white linen pajamas and my talking goat friend Otis a.k.a Otis dropped on top of me at Bunker Hill, I  
wasn't expecting to squeal out in pain.

"Ow." I squeaked, thanking the fact I was an einherji. Therefore, was able to sustain whatever the Helheim just fell on top of me.

"We're not dead!" I heard a guy saying.

"Well of course we're not dead!" Said a girl with a British accent, "We landed on something soft and squishy."

"You landed on a dead guy." Otis said. He was nice enough to actually get off me.

The girl immediately screamed in disgust and got up. She cleared her throat, "Ew." The other person was yanked up by her.

I gave Otis a look that meant _Really? You could've just said they landed on me._ But he didn't seem to get it. Then it dawned on me. Why was Otis talking to some random people? Then I made the next mistake, I sat up to face whoever landed on me.  
Naturally, I was greeted with a kick in the face that sent me back to the ground.

"Ow again." I rubbed my nose and sat up.

"Ok so he's not a zombie." The girl said.

"Sadie why would he be a zombie?"

"Well I don't know Carter! With all the stuff we've seen might as well add zombies, vampires, and werewolves to the list!"

 _She has a point._ I thought. Then I remember these were random people who fell from the sky and portals don't just come out of no where.

"Uh hi. Who are you and why did you fall on top of me from the sky?" They stared at me. The taller one with a bent sword, Carter, looked like he was trying to come up with a story to tell me. "Also Otis why are you here? Do you know these people?"

"No they beat up Thor then started chasing me." I blinked thinking _They beat up_ _ **Thor?!**_

Carter snapped me out of my thoughts,"You can see the talking goat too? Are you a magician?"

"Like a magic tricks? I mean I'm very good at disappearing but not at card tricks."

The British girl, Sadie, found that amusing, "Pfft so that's obviously a no."

"Then what are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I said.

"Us?!" Sadie said.

"Yeah. Are you demigods who run around in white pajamas? What's with your sword? Is it bent? I have a friend who can fix that and maybe make it into a fashion item."

Carter blinked, "Huh?"

"I'm speaking English right?"

"I think?" He said.

"Excuse me. I'm speaking English you two are speaking American."

"Does that mean Otis speaks goat?"

"Who?" They said.

"Me." The goat said with some grass in his mouth. I couldn't understand why he didn't run away in all the confusion.

"The talking goat? How do you know him?" Sadie asked.

I didn't get a chance to answer because as soon as I opened my mouth Carter opened his, "Wait did you say demigod earlier?"

I started to wrap my hand around my pendent ready to let Jack torture them with _Cheese graters gonna grate grate grate._ "Yes?"

"Are you-," He started but then a very familiar voice interrupted him.

"A demigod? Yes but not like me." My cousin, Annabeth Chase, said with her arms crossed and I knew that I was in for something weird.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sadie**

 ** _More Surprises! Yay..._**

* * *

"Annabeth?!" I said. By now I felt like I was in another one of our crazy side adventures considering all the insanity popping up.

"Sadie? Carter? What are you doing in Boston?" She asked probably as shocked as we were.

"Oh you know we chased a talking-" I got interrupted by a sudden _BANG_ and next thing I knew, the furry reason we were there was on the ground dead and bleeding.

Shockingly (if I can still even use that word anymore) zombie boy didn't seemed saddened that his goat friend was dead. "Otis. Not in public." He sounded more or less annoyed that he died but by now I decided to stop questioning the goat.

Annabeth's eye twitched a bit but she quickly resumed her cool, "Well, we should probably get away from here considering my cousin's talking goat friend just got killed."

"Wait he's your cousin?" Carter asked and looked between them. I couldn't believe it took him this long for him to see the family resemblance. Usually he catches these things first. Oh well I guess I'm just better. I mean they share the similar grey eyesand  
/the curly blonde hair. Although zombie boy's is a bit choppy and uneven like some 5 year old decided to give him a hair cut in his sleep.

"Questions later so we don't die." The boy opened his mouth, "Some of us more than others." Annabeth interrupted. Her cousin nodded and yanked on his necklace with the weird rock hanging from it.

Before I continue I'm going to tell you why I reacted the way I did.

You see it's one thing to have a sword you can pull from the duat and is a mostly normal Egyptian fighting tool. It is another for a pen to be turned into a sword.

When I saw zombie boy's sword I didn't really think anything of it. Until it _**talked**_.

"What's up señor? What do we need to-" I hit it with my staff repeatedly. I would like to say I actually didn't scream but I did try to destroy it just a little. The sword floated toward me."Uh dude why is a magician trying to kill me?"

"No time to talk Jack. We need to get out of here so can you please cover our backs while we find a hiding spot. This time I mean in a literal sense."

"Got it!" He went behind Annabeth's back and floated following us. Carter and I took the front just out of habit. _Señor_ took the middle. One thing was for sure, _ **all**_ of us have had practice from running away from things.

When we finally got to the end of Bunker Hill, I made the mistake of looking back. Apparently the thing chasing us had no problem dressing in perhaps one of the most mismatched and colorful outfits I've ever seen. Even his guns were covered in god awful  
/splatterpaint! He was also still shooting at us of course and unfortunately I couldn't think of any spells off the top of my head that wouldn't drain me immediately.

If you don't know, magicians (or any magical mortal it seems) don't have unlimited magical power. We eventually burn out and it could actually kill us if we use too much. So you could imagine my annoyance when I remembered that if I didn't fight an insaneredhead  
/today, I'd be kicking Mr. Art-project-gone-rogue's ass.

All you could hear was _BANG CLANG BANG CLANG_ of the sword and bullets colliding. With the occasional ow from said talking sword. Zombie boy wasstill running for dear life(the irony) then he jumped high up into a fairly large tree.

"Uh?" Carter said apparently as confused as I was. Before we knew it we were yanked into the same tree and Annabeth was left alone.

The complete annoyance on her face was both terrifying and priceless, "Magnus!" She yelled.

"What?"

"What the hades are you doing?!"

"Just trust me I know what I'm doing."

As if on cue a new voice chimed in right next to me and I saw a hint of green out of the corner of my eye, "Maggie what the helhame did you get yourself into this time?"


	4. Chapter 4

**_Magnus- I Hate Hunting Season._**

So here's a sentence I never thought I would say. A rainbow splatter paint cosplayer killed my goat friend with their arsenal of painted guns and now I'm in a tree ready to be yelled at by my fellow demigod cousin or the daughter of Loki. This is now my life. Awesome.

So how did I know Alex was in that tree? She insisted on coming with me. I couldn't prevent her from coming. So I told her to wait in the tree so I could check in with Annabeth on our plans for the summer before she met Alex.

Obviously, those plans didn't go so well.

Alex punched me in the arm causing me to almost fall out of the tree, "How did you get the attention of a crazy gunmen this time?"

"I've never done that."

"You sure?" She arched her eyebrow.

The blonde girl...Sadie, I think, piped up, "Um are you going to help us or are you two love birds going to argue?"

"Love b-"

"I don't know, honey? Who are these people?" She smirked.

I sighed, "Friends of Annabeth. So are you going to he-" I heard my cousin yelp, "Annie!" I covered my mouth hoping not to give away where we were. I looked out to see Annabeth shot in the leg but still fighting. Alex turned into an bald eagle and started to attack the gunman.

"Oh cool a bald eagle!" The boy said. "No one turns into those."

"Well Carter who wants to turn into one when there are always penguins in the house?"

"Hey could you distract the gunman while I get to Annabeth?" I said. They glanced at each other and seemed to have a silent understanding then nodded at me. It kinda reminded me of how Hearth and Blitz did when they knew to protect me from something I couldn't handle myself. It made me smile a bit.

Carter and Sadie jumped down to join Alex in her FBS, Federal Bird Scratching. "Hey! 1980s! Over here!" Carter yelled with his big hook ready. The splatter paint gunslinger turned his head towards the pajama boy giving me a chance to grab Annabeth and run as fast as I could to safety, which, in our case, was inside The Battle of Bunker Hill Museum. It was closed, luckily, due to some maintenance thing. I didn't really care to check.

Annabeth gave me an annoyed look. "Annie?"

"It just slipped out! Now hold still." Pressed my hand against her leg. She winced but obviously didn't want to let on how much pain she was really in. I concentrated on that one spot, letting warmth spill out of me. After a minute or two I felt the bullet in my hand. Annabeth just stared at me.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said. Though it came out so quick I almost missed it.

I handed her the bullet, "Anything magical from you guys?"

She inspected it,"It's made of celestial bronze. The only other person that I've seen have these is my dad."

I managed not to choked on my own spit, "Wait your dad made bullets out of-" I remembered the weapons we used in Valhalla. Particularly, Alex's choice favorite. "Never mind."

"It looks like my Dad's handy work too." She continued. "But we both know that, that's not my father."

"Unless he's gone crazy and walked into a paint ball field." She laughed at that. Then we got a loud reminder that we were still in a battle. The glass shattered and a bear roar was heard just outside the doors.

I could hear yelling some curses outside,"Oh bloody-! _Sebetj_!" We started to hear someone laughing hysterically and the gun fire temporarily stopped. Annabeth was grinning which frightened me.

She was also thinking and her eyes darted to me, "You can disarm people nearby right?"

"Yeah wh-" I nearly facepalmed. _Of course._

"How close do you have to be?"

"It doesn't have to be too close." She nodded and sprang her plan into action. She opened the door using it as a shield so she wouldn't be shot again. The fight moved inside. Alex was back to being Alex, fighting along side Carter and Jack. Our favorite bright gunman was still giggling like an idiot. He had a glowing symbol floating around him that looked like something you'd see at the Ancient Egyptian exhibit in the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. I didn't take much time to think about it. I didn't really have any. I concentrated and concentrated and... Nothing. I looked at the others. Annabeth's eyes were practically bulging out of her head, _Any time now!_ She seemed to say.

Then Alex got shot in the shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sadie- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!_**

I am severely pissed.

No no no no! Annabeth was already shot and pulled away by her cousin. No way in bloody hell was I going to accept this person getting shot! Nope. Nu uh! Sorry not happening. Where the bloody hell were those two anyway? I thought. Next thing I knew, Carter's sword dropped to the grown and so did our colourful friend's weapons. Then I heard a prominent THUD of zombie boy passing out.

"I-Idiot." Green bean grunted through their teeth. They were squeezing their pink shoulder which was quickly getting red. Annabeth came out from behind the door and ran to her cousin.

What I did? I tackled Sir Splatter paint and punched him so many times I lost count. Then I got up and smiled at my brother, "I feel much better now." He just stood there in kinda shock I guess. I didn't do any real damage. For all I knew this was some nut job who could just see the odd world around us. I've met quite a few of those in New York.

"Fucking...Your such an idiot Maggie."

Carter ran over to our injured fashion statement. He applied more pressure to the wound and greeny thanked him with a two colored glare. My brother didn't flinch. "Is there a better place we can do this?" He asked.

"...We could go to where they live." Annabeth said as she picked up her unconscious relative. "Alex do you think you can call your sister?"

Green bean, who I assumed was Alex, grunted, "Yeah." Carter help Alex up.

I felt like doing something semi-helpful so I sat on gun slinger and then kicked him the groin. Which inconvenienced him a little more so I hope that did something. Then I noticed something, "Annabeth? Why aren't you hurt?"

Once again she hesitated, "Magnus healed me." I looked at Alex then back at Magnus. I then walked over and slapped him.

His eyes darted open,"Gah! Ow!"

"Welcome back Chase." Alex said weakly.

"Alex!" He ran over and set his friend down. "You got shot!"

"Yeah no kidding Maggie." Magnus seemed a little relived to hear the snark in his bleeding friend's voice. He started to glow faintly as he placed his hand on Alex's shoulder. Eventually, after a few minutes of silence, the bleeding stopped. Now the only blood on the sweater vest was just the stain. Alex looked at me, "You slapped him."

"Yes?" I said.

Alex gave me an approving smirk, "Please refer to me as she and her until I say otherwise." Carter and I nodded.

"What are we going to do with the paint ball shooter?" Carter asked as he picked up the guns. The gunman groaned in pain. I may or may not have smiled to myself a bit.

"Well does he have any artifacts on him like the ones back in New York?" Annabeth suggested while scanning the guy over to see if there's any odd about him. Well, odder. I started inspecting his clothes and his long jacket.

"What about that weird tattoo on his arm?" Magnus said.

I saw what he was talking about. On the man's arm was a tattoo with the Egyptian hieroglyph, cidib: kill. The glyph was repeating itself in a circle with red ink. Inside the circle was a pharaoh's crown, that symbol lulu lemon uses, the letters SPQR, and a tree. "Carter your an endless pit of knowledge, what do you think this means?"

My library brother studied the tattoo but he looked as puzzled as I was. Though he did identify where the symbols came from. "They're all different mythologies. Why did he get this one though?"

"Maybe he's an enthusiast who likes hunting down random teenagers at historical landmarks." Alex suggested.

"That would be quite a news story." I responded with a bit of a laugh.

Annabeth studied the body art closely and her grey eyes lit up, "They're in a specific order." She sat next to my brother, "See? Look." Carter picked up the guy's arm to get a better look and Maggie even seemed a bit interested by peeking over. "The Omega is in the front then the tree."

I could practically see my wiki brother's wheels turning. He furrowed his brows, "The color is darker on those symbols as well."

I finally decided to break up the detective case, "Um excuse me can you explain what's going on to the rest of us in here?"

Annabeth looked at me, "I think we were targeted."

"Um why?" Magnus asked.

"Your really asking that now Maggie?" Alex said as she slipped on some sunglasses which I found quite random but fitting. It was an odd combination.

"What do you mean?"

"Well let's see." She put her finger on her chin and looked as if she was trying to think of how to explain something to a child, "Loki is getting ready to sail in a few months and I believe the best way for us not to be ready would be to distract us with another threat."

Carter was finally confused, "Wait what? Loki? The Norse god?"

Annabeth gave a quick, "Yep." And that was really all that was needed.

"Well I do like Tom Hiddleston in those Avengers movies. Way better than Thor." Magnus looked like he wanted to argue but then he detracted because that's a war he will never win.

Instead he reinstated what was going on, "So we're being distracted? But why attack Annabeth and you guys too?"

"Less threats from others?" Carter said uncertain if he was actually right which I have to admit was quite refreshing.

"I guess if we were killed off then the end of the world would happen easier for those who want it." Annabeth sounded like she was speaking from experience which honestly didn't surprise me.

"But those tattoos are in a specific order right?" I said, "So we're in a bloody game of guess who needs to run for the hills next?"

Alex snorted, "Sound like a party."

"You mean home?" Zombie boy added. She gave a smirk then shrugged like it was just another Wednesday.

"So who's next?" Alex studied the arm with her two toned eyes seeming perplexed as she got to symbols she didn't recognized.

Annabeth gave the tattoo another look, "Huh."

We all gave her a collective, "What?"

"The darker symbols are people who already got shot."

"So X's or something?" Alex said, "Get shot then get out of jail free card?"

I would've laughed if Carter didn't say what he did, "Sadie...we need to run."


End file.
